The narcissistic family’s scapegoat: Survival and Recovery
Today’s blog post describes why a malignantly narcissistic parent has to scapegoat a child, why certain children get picked as the scapegoat, the impact of…
Category: Control-Mastery Theory
Why adult children of narcissists can be so money and not even know it
I have a very smart and wonderful client, Karen*, who recently said: “I feel like you are always telling me that I’m right and everyone…
Leading a ‘double-life’ in abusive childhoods
“I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.” -Oscar…
‘Good Will Hunting’ through the lens of Control-Mastery Theory
Good Will Hunting is one of my favorite movies. Will’s character is so compelling. By day he hangs out with his hard-living friends. By night…
How early relationships can define reality – for better or worse
“In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it.” – George Orwell 1984 I…
Fear of anger: Getting mad can be vulnerable
What does anger look like to you? Fists pounding a table? Faces getting red? Veins bulging? Raised Voices? These are some of the common…
Eagle Fans: Super Bowl Therapy
I moved to the Philadelphia area in sixth grade. Coming from southern California, I had trouble finding friends who loved football as much as me. …
So you had a bad childhood…
To know whether you experienced a bad childhood, take this short assessment. The majority of adults in the United States had parents who were…
Why being a “people pleaser” means you are a survivor
by Jay Reid Case illustration: John* was a successful 28-year-old software engineer. He explained that he lives his life through the eyes of others instead of…
Therapy for habitual self-sacrifice
by Jay Reid This blog post is the second in a series about how some people must sacrifice some part of themselves in order to…