You feel so bad because the narcissist has to feel so good

Cinderella might be thought of as the story of how a woman survived and recovered from narcissistic abuse.  Here you have a very kind and beautiful woman who’s scapegoated and treated like the scourge of the earth by her narcissistic stepmother and stepsisters…forced to clean up after them all and deserving of nothing good in return.  It’s clear in the …

Giving up the quest to prove the narcissist wrong about you

When you’re a kid and you have no choice but to bond with a narcissistic parent and that parent uses you as a receptacle for their own feelings of worthlessness that they cannot tolerate, then you can walk around having to believe some pretty terrible things about yourself.  Life can feel like it’s rigged against you.  As if nothing you …

How therapy works for narcissistic abuse

I recently saw an incredible video that went viral where a young girl is getting her hair done and she tells the woman doing her hair that she thinks she’s ugly.  What happens next is really heart warming AND it’s a beautiful illustration of how good therapy works for scapegoat survivors of narcissistic abuse.  In today’s blog I want to …

Knowing you’re adequate after narcissistic abuse

Do you notice that you find yourself to be inadequate almost without cause? Do you perceive yourself to be inadequate in comparison to others? Are you surprised or in disbelief when someone praises you for your adequacy in some regard? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions then you may have had your sense of basic adequacy attacked …

Going from human ‘doing’ to human ‘being’ for the scapegoat

Do you find your moment to moment experience to hinge on what thought you’re thinking right now? Do you carry around a feeling of inner pain, malaise, or otherwise suffering? Do you find that the more you learn about and think about narcissistic abuse, the less free from it you feel? Do you find yourself having to operate more like …