Do you experience your ideas to be less captivating than others’ ideas? When you are alone, can you feel flat or lifeless? Do you find other people to be more exciting people than you? If you had a narcissistic parent and you answered yes to these questions then you may feel uninteresting as a person. Scapegoat children to a narcissistic …
3 Ways the Narcissistic Parent Blocks the Scapegoat Child’s Growth
As a child, did you feel… …like everything you did was wrong? …like there was an aching hole inside that never seemed to fill up? …like you were not allowed to have good relationships outside of your family? Scapegoat children to narcissistic parents are familiar with such experiences. They are used to being known as someone who is defective and …
The Scapegoat Child’s Role & Symptoms in Narcissistic Abuse
If you grew up with a narcissistic parent and felt devalued most of the time then you were that parent’s scapegoat. The scapegoat is someone who must embody what the narcissistic parent cannot stand in themselves. By “finding” what they hate in themselves to be in the scapegoat child, the parent feels protected; this is the role of the scapegoat child. …
Take off the Scapegoat Nametag at the Narcissistic Family’s Conference
I recently thought about the metaphor of a business conference for what happens when a narcissistic family puts a child in the role of scapegoat. In a business conference the attendees are required to wear nametags and there’s usually a conference agenda that lists out who’s doing what and when. The most revered member of the conference usually gives the …
Heal From Narcissistic Abuse by Taking Others’ Support for Granted
Did you work extremely hard to make your narcissistic partner or parent happy yet always seem to be falling behind? Was it especially dangerous to expect something from them? Was it impossible to assume they were going to be happy with you? These questions point to the pseudo-reality that a narcissistic abuser works to impose upon the person in the …
Dealing With Regret for Scapegoat Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
In the comments from an earlier Youtube Video, someone posted this: Jay, could you do a video about REGRET?? Not living to full potential [in the] past due to narcissistic abuse and feeling like you lost your “best years”. -Youtube Google I thought this was a very important point and topic. Based on the number of replies, it looks like …
When Scapegoats Escape Inward To Survive Narcissistic Abuse
You may have heard the saying that when you point a finger at someone else there are always three fingers pointing back at you. There’s certainly wisdom in this for those who are over eager to blame others for their troubles. For someone who survived narcissistic abuse as the scapegoat, however, this saying and the concept it reflects may need …
Trust What the Narcissist Shows You Not What You Hope For
In my experience, scapegoat survivors of narcissistic abuse often find it very difficult to take the narcissist’s behavior towards them at face value. When the relationship to the narcissist feels more important than the scapegoat survivor’s own well being – as is the case when a child has a narcissistic parent – then there’s no real option to trust what …
How To Trust After Narcissistic Abuse
Is it hard to believe that others could genuinely care about your feelings? Do you find yourself assuming some sort of ulterior motive to those who seem to be committing an act of kindness? Does it feel like care and affection is something to be earned rather than received? If you answered yes to any of these questions then …
“Am I Making All of This Up?” – Asked by Scapegoats Everywhere
Scapegoating is a common behavior among narcissistic abusers. They will single out one person in their life and blame them for all of their problems. This can be an ex-partner, a family member, or even a co-worker. The narcissistic abuser will often try to gaslight their victim and make them question their reality. Someone recently articulated this question in the …