when the scapegoat has to deny their own gifts

When the Scapegoat Has To Deny Their Own Gifts

Being the scapegoat child to a narcissistic parent means feeling very unimportant. You may have even felt like you did not exist to this parent. Psychologically speaking you would not be wrong. It is very painful for a child to attach to a parent who does not see nor care about the child’s existence. The rule is that the parent …

how the scapegoat survivor discounts their strengths

“Yeah but…” How the Scapegoat Survivor Discounts Their Strengths

Do you add caveats to your strengths or accomplishments? Does it seem like you are not as mature, developed or confident as others? Have you perceived a flaw in yourself that makes you inadequate compared to your peer group? These are all ways to discount yourself to yourself. Why would that be necessary? If you were the scapegoat child to …

evacuating the seat of your self: a necessary move for the scapegoat survivor

Evacuating the Seat of Your Self: A Necessary Move for the Scapegoat Survivor

In most families, parents protect and respect their children. This protection and respect does not falter when the child needs something. Nor when the child spontaneously expresses themselves. I like to think of human beings as having a seat in themselves that we can more or less occupy. A big factor that determines whether we can occupy our seat is …

6 keys to deal with a narcissist

6 Keys To Deal With a Narcissist When You Can’t Get Away

I write a lot on this blog about the importance of getting psychological, emotional and physical distance from a narcissistic abuser.  Some viewers of my Youtube Channel have wisely pointed out that sometimes this isn’t possible.  A viewer recently asked: “As an adult, how to handle living with a parent who has strong narcissistic and controlling behaviors, when you have …