As a child, did you feel… …like everything you did was wrong? …like there was an aching hole inside that never seemed to fill up? …like you were not allowed to have good relationships outside of your family? Scapegoat children to narcissistic parents are familiar with such experiences. They are used to being known as someone who is defective and …
The Scapegoat Child’s Role & Symptoms in Narcissistic Abuse
If you grew up with a narcissistic parent and felt devalued most of the time then you were that parent’s scapegoat. The scapegoat is someone who must embody what the narcissistic parent cannot stand in themselves. By “finding” what they hate in themselves to be in the scapegoat child, the parent feels protected; this is the role of the scapegoat child. …
Take off the Scapegoat Nametag at the Narcissistic Family’s Conference
I recently thought about the metaphor of a business conference for what happens when a narcissistic family puts a child in the role of scapegoat. In a business conference the attendees are required to wear nametags and there’s usually a conference agenda that lists out who’s doing what and when. The most revered member of the conference usually gives the …
Heal From Narcissistic Abuse by Taking Others’ Support for Granted
Did you work extremely hard to make your narcissistic partner or parent happy yet always seem to be falling behind? Was it especially dangerous to expect something from them? Was it impossible to assume they were going to be happy with you? These questions point to the pseudo-reality that a narcissistic abuser works to impose upon the person in the …
Dealing With Regret for Scapegoat Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
In the comments from an earlier Youtube Video, someone posted this: Jay, could you do a video about REGRET?? Not living to full potential [in the] past due to narcissistic abuse and feeling like you lost your “best years”. -Youtube Google I thought this was a very important point and topic. Based on the number of replies, it looks like …
When Scapegoats Escape Inward To Survive Narcissistic Abuse
You may have heard the saying that when you point a finger at someone else there are always three fingers pointing back at you. There’s certainly wisdom in this for those who are over eager to blame others for their troubles. For someone who survived narcissistic abuse as the scapegoat, however, this saying and the concept it reflects may need …