If you have survived narcissistic abuse then you likely felt singled out and treated with unbridled contempt and devaluation. I think that one of the worst features of this form of abuse – or any form of bullying for that matter – is how the abuser regards you as lower status than him or her. It’s the narcissist’s assumption that …
The Scapegoat’s Mental Frame After Narcissistic Abuse
Someone who had survived narcissistic abuse as the scapegoat in his family of origin recently described what it was like for him to play his favorite sport – basketball. We’ll call this person ‘Steph’ (no relation to Curry). Steph loved shooting baskets and playing in pickup games with his friends since he was 5 years old. Something just felt good …
The pressure to be as the narcissist insists you are
There is a form of psychological abuse committed by narcissistic parents that is hard to identify for a child. It is a psychological process that is designed to mess with the child’s sense of himself or herself. In fact, therapists sometimes get paid the ‘big bucks’ so that they can bring all of their professional and personal training in therapy …
How early relationships can define reality – for better or worse
“In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it.” – George Orwell 1984 I find in my therapy practice that there is nothing wrong with my clients except that they believe there is. People do not insist on a perception of reality that worsens quality of life out of …
The emotional hazards of being “too nice”
by Jay Reid This blog post is the first in a series dedicated to having to give up what you really think or feel in order to keep important relationships intact. All references to clients are fictional. Joan walked into my office with an ear-to-ear smile. She explained a painful cycle of anxiety attacks at work and feelings of emptiness …
The Importance of Feeling Understood – How Empathy Cures
Do you believe that you’re fundamentally different, weird, or impossible to understand? Are you terrified to share your opinion when you’re not sure if others will agree with you? Do you find yourself able to understand and empathize with everybody else but yourself? If any of the above apply to you then you may walk around with a feeling of …