trauma bonds in narcissistic abuse

Break Free of the Trauma Bonds in Narcissistic Abuse

Do you fear that if you listen to what you’re unhappy about in a relationship that it will be impossible to be happy with anyone? Do you fear a terrible retribution, comeuppance, or profound humiliation if you dare to move away from a friend or partner who is treating you poorly? Does it seem like having someone there is a …

6 keys to deal with a narcissist

6 Keys To Deal With a Narcissist When You Can’t Get Away

I write a lot on this blog about the importance of getting psychological, emotional and physical distance from a narcissistic abuser.  Some viewers of my Youtube Channel have wisely pointed out that sometimes this isn’t possible.  A viewer recently asked: “As an adult, how to handle living with a parent who has strong narcissistic and controlling behaviors, when you have …

adequate after narcissistic abuse

Knowing You’re Adequate After Narcissistic Abuse

Do you notice that you find yourself to be inadequate almost without cause?   Do you perceive yourself to be inadequate in comparison to others? Are you surprised or in disbelief when someone praises you for your adequacy in some regard? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions then you may have had your sense of basic adequacy attacked …

Why a Narcissist Deceives the Public and Abuses in Private

Did you have a narcissistic parent who showered people outside the home with deference, respect and charm? Did that same parent have no trouble turning against you once the doors to the outside world closed? Did you have to worry constantly about your narcissistic parent feeling embarrassed by your behavior ‘out in public’ such that you would hear about it …

how to trust after narcissistic abuse

How To Trust After Narcissistic Abuse

Is it hard to believe that others could genuinely care about your feelings? Do you find yourself assuming some sort of ulterior motive to those who seem to be committing an act of kindness? Does it feel like care and affection is something to be earned rather than received?   If you answered yes to any of these questions then …

breaking the myth of the narcissistic abuser

Breaking the Myth of the Narcissistic Abuser’s Specialness

Sometimes in the process of recovery from narcissistic abuse it can feel like one is being pulled back towards the narcissistic parent or partner.  This can happen literally in the pull to have more contact with this person or even in one’s own mind where you may find yourself going from what is happening now between you and people in …

how to overcome guilt after leaving a narcissistic abuser

How To Overcome Guilt After Leaving a Narcissistic Abuser

The term ‘Narcissistic abuse’ is pretty recognizable that it’s a bad thing.  Like no one’s gonna sign up for some form of abuse, right?  So, if you’re unfortunate enough to know firsthand such abuse then how can it be that the prospect of leaving one’s abuser can feel scarier, more conflictual, and guilt inducing than staying in the abusive situation?  …

narcissist claims the scapegoat is ‘too sensitive'

When a Narcissist Claims the Scapegoat Is ‘Too Sensitive’

Do you fear that if you say what you don’t like in a relationship that your partner will accuse you of being ‘too sensitive? Do you fear that if you say what want more of in a relationship that your partner will accuse you of being ‘too needy’? Do you work really hard to make it seem like nothing bothers …

gratitude for small servings to survive narcissistic abuse

Gratitude for Small Servings To Survive Narcissistic Abuse

Do you find yourself ready to show appreciation for any act done on your behalf? Is it more anxiety-provoking to be given praise than to go without it? Is it more natural to worry about whether you have done enough for others than to expect something from them? Is it foreign to think about how others have failed to meet …