Below you'll find a list of all posts that have been tagged as “narcissistic abuse”
You may have heard the saying that when you point a finger at someone else there are always three fingers pointing back at you. There’s certainly wisdom in this for those who are over eager to blame others for their troubles. For someone who survived narcissistic abuse as the scapegoat, however, this saying and the concept it reflects may need …
In my experience, scapegoat survivors of narcissistic abuse often find it very difficult to take the narcissist’s behavior towards them at face value. When the relationship to the narcissist feels more important than the scapegoat survivor’s own well being – as is the case when a child has a narcissistic parent – then there’s no real option to trust what …
Imagine a child who’s three years old and is exquisitely conscious of the child’s smallness and needfulness. At times he feels a continuity of that dependency with someone upon whom he can depend. A bigger person who seems to be there and take delight in the child. When he’s on the swings at the playground this bigger person pushes the …
This question comes up a lot in my experience with survivors of narcissistic abuse. And how can it not? If you have to live under the auspices of grim self-diminishing beliefs, which you had to adapt to survive narcissistic abuse then, of course, you would want to know how long until you can expect some relief. I often engage with …
Sometimes in the process of recovery from narcissistic abuse it can feel like one is being pulled back towards the narcissistic parent or partner. This can happen literally in the pull to have more contact with this person or even in one’s own mind where you may find yourself going from what is happening now between you and people in …
I want to talk about a destructive tactic used by a narcissistically abusive parent and how you can begin to heal from it and live in defiance of it. Let me start with a fictionalized example of a client named Terence. Terence grew up with a narcissistic mother who would yell and berate Terence for the slightest supposed ‘offenses’ throughout …
This person purchased my online course for recovery from narcissistic abuse and accompanying private facebook group for those enrolled in the course and asked an important question. S/he gave me permission to quote them directly here. Every time I watch a video of yours or well, breathe lol, I want to angrily point out to my Dad and mom “Look! …
Do you find it difficult to know your own opinion in life? Do you tend to regard others as the ‘experts’ and defer to their judgment? Does it seem like whatever you conclude is going to be wrong somehow while others are going to be right? If you’re familiar with any of these experiences then today’s post may be useful. …
Rick was another anonymized client who grew up as the scapegoat in a family dominated by a narcissistic mother. He was roundly criticized and yelled at on a daily basis for not doing chores around the house in a “responsible enough” way, or not showing enough deference to his mother, or wanting to see friends outside the family. Towards the …
Bernard was another fictionalized client who came to therapy in his mid-twenties to find relief from the constant anxiety he experienced in his life. We quickly came to understand that he grew up with a narcissistic father who acted in a domineering way around the house and would grow enraged if Bernard responded with anything but obedience. It was no …
