what you sacrificed is what saves you

What a Scapegoat Sacrificed Is What Saves After Narcissistic Abuse

Most scapegoat survivors of narcissistic abuse struggle to know they can safely experience themselves as they actually are.  They’ve had to don a costume of being abhorrent to the people who they first met in life and tragically learned how dangerous it was to take off that costume.  The crux of recovery from being the scapegoat in a family structured …

emotional abuse

Emotional Abuse: The Invisible Trauma

Do any of the following points apply to you? You take care of other people’s emotional needs but don’t expect them to take care of yours You have a difficult time identifying and expressing your own feelings You find yourself in relationships with people who seem self-absorbed You never express anger towards friends or partners You never feel like you …

relational trauma

Don’t Minimize Your Trauma

As an undergraduate, I took a course on African-American Psychology and my professor, Howard C. Stevenson always ended each class with a touching aphorism.  The one that remains with me to this day is “Don’t minimize your trauma”.  This phrase is especially relevant for racial minorities in a society that privileges whiteness while simultaneously denying the existence of that privileged status.  …