trauma bonds in narcissistic abuse

Break Free of the Trauma Bonds in Narcissistic Abuse

Do you fear that if you listen to what you’re unhappy about in a relationship that it will be impossible to be happy with anyone? Do you fear a terrible retribution, comeuppance, or profound humiliation if you dare to move away from a friend or partner who is treating you poorly? Does it seem like having someone there is a …

what you sacrificed is what saves you

What a Scapegoat Sacrificed Is What Saves After Narcissistic Abuse

Most scapegoat survivors of narcissistic abuse struggle to know they can safely experience themselves as they actually are.  They’ve had to don a costume of being abhorrent to the people who they first met in life and tragically learned how dangerous it was to take off that costume.  The crux of recovery from being the scapegoat in a family structured …

6 keys to deal with a narcissist

6 Keys To Deal With a Narcissist When You Can’t Get Away

I write a lot on this blog about the importance of getting psychological, emotional and physical distance from a narcissistic abuser.  Some viewers of my Youtube Channel have wisely pointed out that sometimes this isn’t possible.  A viewer recently asked: “As an adult, how to handle living with a parent who has strong narcissistic and controlling behaviors, when you have …

adequate after narcissistic abuse

Knowing You’re Adequate After Narcissistic Abuse

Do you notice that you find yourself to be inadequate almost without cause?   Do you perceive yourself to be inadequate in comparison to others? Are you surprised or in disbelief when someone praises you for your adequacy in some regard? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions then you may have had your sense of basic adequacy attacked …

breaking the myth of the narcissistic abuser

Breaking the Myth of the Narcissistic Abuser’s Specialness

Sometimes in the process of recovery from narcissistic abuse it can feel like one is being pulled back towards the narcissistic parent or partner.  This can happen literally in the pull to have more contact with this person or even in one’s own mind where you may find yourself going from what is happening now between you and people in …

gratitude for small servings to survive narcissistic abuse

Gratitude for Small Servings To Survive Narcissistic Abuse

Do you find yourself ready to show appreciation for any act done on your behalf? Is it more anxiety-provoking to be given praise than to go without it? Is it more natural to worry about whether you have done enough for others than to expect something from them? Is it foreign to think about how others have failed to meet …

“Am I Making All of This Up?” – Asked by Scapegoats Everywhere

Scapegoating is a common behavior among narcissistic abusers. They will single out one person in their life and blame them for all of their problems. This can be an ex-partner, a family member, or even a co-worker. The narcissistic abuser will often try to gaslight their victim and make them question their reality. Someone recently articulated this question in the …