recover from narcissistic abuse by deciding how you’re spoken to

Recover From Narcissistic Abuse by Deciding How You’re Spoken To

I want to talk about a destructive tactic used by a narcissistically abusive parent and how you can begin to heal from it and live in defiance of it. Let me start with a fictionalized example of a client named Terence. Terence grew up with a narcissistic mother who would yell and berate Terence for the slightest supposed ‘offenses’ throughout …

what to do after creating distance from a narcissistic abuser

What To Do After Creating Distance From a Narcissistic Abuser

This person purchased my online course for recovery from narcissistic abuse and accompanying private facebook group for those enrolled in the course and asked an important question.  S/he gave me permission to quote them directly here. Every time I watch a video of yours or well, breathe lol, I want to angrily point out to my Dad and mom “Look! …

how scapegoats can speak their voice after narcissistic abuse

How Scapegoats Can Speak Their Voice After Narcissistic Abuse

Do you have difficulty knowing what you want for yourself? Do relationships seem to be all about what the other person wants and needs? Do you have to curate what you say before you say it for fear of not being understood? If you answered yes to any of these questions and you identify as the scapegoat to a narcissistic …

Why a Narcissist Deceives the Public and Abuses in Private

Did you have a narcissistic parent who showered people outside the home with deference, respect and charm? Did that same parent have no trouble turning against you once the doors to the outside world closed? Did you have to worry constantly about your narcissistic parent feeling embarrassed by your behavior ‘out in public’ such that you would hear about it …

how to talk to others about a narcissistic parenthow to talk to others about a narcissistic parent

How to Talk to Others About a Narcissistic Parent

So you’ve done a ton of work to take stock of how you had to adapt to a narcissistic parent’s abusiveness.  Now that you live with a hard-earned awareness of the truth about your parent, you are talking to your longtime friend from high school who asks you how that parent is doing and tells you how much they always …

self-worth medals in narcissistic abuse

Getting Robbed of Self-worth Medals in Narcissistic Abuse

Does it feel very difficult or even impossible to feel proud of yourself? Does winning feel like a foreign experience to you? Do you find yourself taking on activities in order to disprove that you’re incapable rather than seeking feelings of effectiveness, power or satisfaction? Do you spend a lot of time trying not to be a disappointment to yourself? …

children of narcissists

Why adult children of narcissists can be so money and not even know it

I have a very smart and wonderful client, Karen*, who recently said: “I feel like you are always telling me that I’m right and everyone else is wrong Isn’t it somewhere in the middle?”. Her question gave me pause. Was I erring on the side of being too supportive and excusing her of responsibility? Had I abandoned ‘therapeutic neutrality’ in …