Below you'll find a list of all posts that have been tagged as “childhood trauma”
I want to talk about a destructive tactic used by a narcissistically abusive parent and how you can begin to heal from it and live in defiance of it. Let me start with a fictionalized example of a client named Terence. Terence grew up with a narcissistic mother who would yell and berate Terence for the slightest supposed ‘offenses’ throughout …
This person purchased my online course for recovery from narcissistic abuse and accompanying private facebook group for those enrolled in the course and asked an important question. S/he gave me permission to quote them directly here. Every time I watch a video of yours or well, breathe lol, I want to angrily point out to my Dad and mom “Look! …
Do you have difficulty knowing what you want for yourself? Do relationships seem to be all about what the other person wants and needs? Do you have to curate what you say before you say it for fear of not being understood? If you answered yes to any of these questions and you identify as the scapegoat to a narcissistic …
Did you have a narcissistic parent who showered people outside the home with deference, respect and charm? Did that same parent have no trouble turning against you once the doors to the outside world closed? Did you have to worry constantly about your narcissistic parent feeling embarrassed by your behavior ‘out in public’ such that you would hear about it …
So you’ve done a ton of work to take stock of how you had to adapt to a narcissistic parent’s abusiveness. Now that you live with a hard-earned awareness of the truth about your parent, you are talking to your longtime friend from high school who asks you how that parent is doing and tells you how much they always …
Does it feel very difficult or even impossible to feel proud of yourself? Does winning feel like a foreign experience to you? Do you find yourself taking on activities in order to disprove that you’re incapable rather than seeking feelings of effectiveness, power or satisfaction? Do you spend a lot of time trying not to be a disappointment to yourself? …
Did you tend to feel any of these ways with a parent or a partner? Never sure what to expect from them? In certain moments they would seem thrilled with life and you but at other moments would treat you with such hostility, contempt and rage such that they could seem like two different people? Caught up in the drama?…They …
One of the grave impacts of being scapegoated by a narcissistic parent is the sense that at your core you are not real. Survivors often feel this way from early in life and have found a way to live with it. This can be a terrifying feeling that is often not discussed with friends, partners, therapists, or even oneself. It …
I have a very smart and wonderful client, Karen*, who recently said: “I feel like you are always telling me that I’m right and everyone else is wrong Isn’t it somewhere in the middle?”. Her question gave me pause. Was I erring on the side of being too supportive and excusing her of responsibility? Had I abandoned ‘therapeutic neutrality’ in …
“I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.” -Oscar Wilde, The importance of being Earnest Many of my clients grew up in families where they could not be themselves at home. They were coerced to play a family role at great odds with their natural …
