children of narcissists

Why adult children of narcissists can be so money and not even know it

I have a very smart and wonderful client, Karen*, who recently said: “I feel like you are always telling me that I’m right and everyone else is wrong Isn’t it somewhere in the middle?”. Her question gave me pause. Was I erring on the side of being too supportive and excusing her of responsibility? Had I abandoned ‘therapeutic neutrality’ in …

Good Will Hunting

‘Good Will Hunting’ through the lens of Control-Mastery Theory

Good Will Hunting is one of my favorite movies. Will’s character is so compelling. By day he hangs out with his hard-living friends. By night he exercises his genius by solving quadratic equations, reading voraciously, and thinking big thoughts. Put another way, his public self seems to contradict his private self.   And the contradiction goes in an unusual direction. …

bad childhood

So you had a bad childhood…

To know whether you experienced a bad childhood, take this short assessment.   The majority of adults in the United States had parents who were ‘good-enough’. This does not mean that everything was perfect in these families. Rather there was enough consistency, support, and flexibility for children to develop.   There is a sizable minority in the population whose parents …

Empathy

The Importance of Feeling Understood – How Empathy Cures

Do you believe that you’re fundamentally different, weird, or impossible to understand? Are you terrified to share your opinion when you’re not sure if others will agree with you? Do you find yourself able to understand and empathize with everybody else but yourself? If any of the above apply to you then you may walk around with a feeling of …

emotional abuse

Emotional Abuse: The Invisible Trauma

Do any of the following points apply to you? You take care of other people’s emotional needs but don’t expect them to take care of yours You have a difficult time identifying and expressing your own feelings You find yourself in relationships with people who seem self-absorbed You never express anger towards friends or partners You never feel like you …