Are you extra careful to not seem like a ‘show-off’, ‘know-it-all’ or ‘arrogant’? Do you keep most of your worries to yourself lest you ‘burden’ others? Does it often feel like someone important to you could easily think you’re abandoning him or her? If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you’re not alone. Many people learn that …
Do you believe that you’re fundamentally different, weird, or impossible to understand? Are you terrified to share your opinion when you’re not sure if others will agree with you? Do you find yourself able to understand and empathize with everybody else but yourself? If any of the above apply to you then you may walk around with a feeling of …
Do any of the following points apply to you? You take care of other people’s emotional needs but don’t expect them to take care of yours You have a difficult time identifying and expressing your own feelings You find yourself in relationships with people who seem self-absorbed You never express anger towards friends or partners You never feel like you …
by Jay Reid A telltale sign of trauma & how to cope Our bodies don’t lie when it comes to trauma. The nervous system gets severely strained when trying to cope with a stress that’s beyond our capacities. In fact, that’s what our nervous systems are there for: to balance the demands between self-regulation and survival. Sometimes we have to …
The effects of depression can be trying and unpredictable. Have you ever planned to take on a bunch of important tasks for the upcoming week? But when it’s time do these things all you want to do is lie down and turn off the world. One of the hardest parts about depression is how it interrupts our ability to carry …
Anxiety is the body and mind’s threat-detection system going off. It deserves credit for helping the human species survive. Here’s one way anxiety has been helpful: alerting us when the connection to a parent is in jeopardy. Early baby humans who experienced and listened to this anxiety when their play carried them too far away from a parent, likely scampered …
Is this familiar to you? John woke with a startle. His stomach was knotted in dread. He felt like something beyond terrible was still about to happen. Gradually he realized he was awake but felt punctured. His nightmare was all too familiar to him: he is taken captive by a terrorist group and forced to undergo torturous treatments. “John” has dreams …
Social anxiety reflects the belief that other people are not safe. We can learn that others are unsafe from receiving a rejecting or indifferent response at the very moment we need someone’s caring interest and recognition. In the wake of such lack of attunement to our inner worlds, the insidious feeling of shame can flood our systems. Shame feels like …
As an undergraduate, I took a course on African-American Psychology and my professor, Howard C. Stevenson always ended each class with a touching aphorism. The one that remains with me to this day is “Don’t minimize your trauma”. This phrase is especially relevant for racial minorities in a society that privileges whiteness while simultaneously denying the existence of that privileged status. …
