Rick was another anonymized client who grew up as the scapegoat in a family dominated by a narcissistic mother. He was roundly criticized and yelled at on a daily basis for not doing chores around the house in a “responsible enough” way, or not showing enough deference to his mother, or wanting to see friends outside the family. Towards the …
Bernard was another fictionalized client who came to therapy in his mid-twenties to find relief from the constant anxiety he experienced in his life. We quickly came to understand that he grew up with a narcissistic father who acted in a domineering way around the house and would grow enraged if Bernard responded with anything but obedience. It was no …
Now we’re ready to put it all together. In this post I’m going to explain how to answer 5 questions about your client to know how you can best help them reach their goals. First, I will show you a diagram that you can use in your own clinical work and apply it to the case of Sarah that I …
As a therapist you have almost an infinite amount of choices in each moment as to what to pay attention to, how to respond and what to emphasize to your clients. Theories of therapy give therapists a strategy for how to do this in a way that should be helpful to the client. One aspect of Control-Mastery Theory that I …
In order to understand how a client may use therapy to achieve their goals it is important to understand the specific adversities they’ve had to cope with that have led to them feeling like their goals have been out of reach to date. In this post I’m going to discuss the definition of trauma from a Control-Mastery Theory (CMT) perspective, …
Why would someone get anxious the more successful they get? Is ‘fear of success’ something to take seriously in treatment? What sorts of internal compromises do children of narcissistic parents have to make? The answer to all of these questions – from the perspective of CMT – point to pathogenic beliefs. In today’s post I’m going to explain how and …
How do you think about a client’s goals in therapy? Are there other goals to pay attention to besides symptom relief? Is there a way to measure the effectiveness of therapy based on a client’s progress towards their goal? If any of these questions resonate to you then I hope you’ll find today’s post helpful. A client’s goals can be …
Are you a therapist or helping professional who works with survivors of narcissistic abuse? Would you like to tailor treatment to your specific client’s goals? Would you like to know how you can attune to and support the ways that client’s are working to heal themselves? If you answered yes to any of these questions then this post and this …
Have you often felt different from everyone else in group settings? Has it seemed like a matter of when, not if others will see you as an outcast? Have you found yourself feeling excluded and unwelcome in your friendships and relationships? If you answered yes to any of these questions and survived narcissistic abuse as a scapegoat then you may …
Have you found yourself in friendships or relationships where you always seemed to be the butt of the joke? Has it seemed impossible to you that such friends or partners might actually be jealous of you? Do you find yourself taking a lot more ribbing than dishing it out with others? If any of these experiences apply to you and …
