moving out of the narcissistic parent’s home for scapegoats

Moving Out of the Narcissistic Parent’s Home for Scapegoats

Rick was another anonymized client who grew up as the scapegoat in a family dominated by a narcissistic mother.  He was roundly criticized and yelled at on a daily basis for not doing chores around the house in a “responsible enough” way, or not showing enough deference to his mother, or wanting to see friends outside the family.  Towards the …

gaining distance from a narcissist is not avoidance

Gaining Distance From a Narcissist Is Not Avoidance

Bernard was another fictionalized client who came to therapy in his mid-twenties to find relief from the constant anxiety he experienced in his life. We quickly came to understand that he grew up with a narcissistic father who acted in a domineering way around the house and would grow enraged if Bernard responded with anything but obedience. It was no …

Therapy with survivors of narcissistic Abuse: Part 4 The Client’s Key Traumas

In order to understand how a client may use therapy to achieve their goals it is important to understand the specific adversities they’ve had to cope with that have led to them feeling like their goals have been out of reach to date.  In this post I’m going to discuss the definition of trauma from a Control-Mastery Theory (CMT) perspective, …

Therapy with survivors of narcissistic Abuse: Part 2 The Client’s Goals

How do you think about a client’s goals in therapy? Are there other goals to pay attention to besides symptom relief? Is there a way to measure the effectiveness of therapy based on a client’s progress towards their goal? If any of these questions resonate to you then I hope you’ll find today’s post helpful.  A client’s goals can be …

feeling like an outcast after being the narcissist’s scapegoat

Feeling Like an Outcast After Being the Narcissist’s Scapegoat

Have you often felt different from everyone else in group settings? Has it seemed like a matter of when, not if others will see you as an outcast? Have you found yourself feeling excluded and unwelcome in your friendships and relationships? If you answered yes to any of these questions and survived narcissistic abuse as a scapegoat then you may …

protecting your right to success after narcissistic abuse: protecting yourself

Protecting Your Right to Success After Narcissistic Abuse

Have you found yourself in friendships or relationships where you always seemed to be the butt of the joke? Has it seemed impossible to you that such friends or partners might actually be jealous of you? Do you find yourself taking a lot more ribbing than dishing it out with others? If any of these experiences apply to you and …