narcissistic family scapegoat

The narcissistic family’s scapegoat: Survival and Recovery

Today’s blog post describes why a malignantly narcissistic parent has to scapegoat a child, why certain children get picked as the scapegoat, the impact of getting scapegoated and how to use therapy to recover from this especially pernicious form of abuse. This article extends recent posts on the roles played in families dominated by a narcissistic caregiver. Sometimes a client …

children of narcissists

Why adult children of narcissists can be so money and not even know it

I have a very smart and wonderful client, Karen*, who recently said: “I feel like you are always telling me that I’m right and everyone else is wrong Isn’t it somewhere in the middle?”. Her question gave me pause. Was I erring on the side of being too supportive and excusing her of responsibility? Had I abandoned ‘therapeutic neutrality’ in …

Good Will Hunting

‘Good Will Hunting’ through the lens of Control-Mastery Theory

Good Will Hunting is one of my favorite movies. Will’s character is so compelling. By day he hangs out with his hard-living friends. By night he exercises his genius by solving quadratic equations, reading voraciously, and thinking big thoughts. Put another way, his public self seems to contradict his private self.   And the contradiction goes in an unusual direction. …

Empathy

The Importance of Feeling Understood – How Empathy Cures

Do you believe that you’re fundamentally different, weird, or impossible to understand? Are you terrified to share your opinion when you’re not sure if others will agree with you? Do you find yourself able to understand and empathize with everybody else but yourself? If any of the above apply to you then you may walk around with a feeling of …

emotional abuse

Emotional Abuse: The Invisible Trauma

Do any of the following points apply to you? You take care of other people’s emotional needs but don’t expect them to take care of yours You have a difficult time identifying and expressing your own feelings You find yourself in relationships with people who seem self-absorbed You never express anger towards friends or partners You never feel like you …